Begin of blog song: Stand up- Flobots
Hey guys, here's what's going on in my life, I've decided to join my school's GSA (Gay Straight Alliance). I was extremely worried at first though, for starters I didn't properly hear the announcement so I was scared that I'd have to go down to the office and speak to them directly about it. The problem with that, is if someone were to have walked in on me asking about the GSA, I would have been in big trouble. Let's face it, this is high school we're talking about, not just any high school, but one filled and ruled by the not so accepting part of Canada. One time when I was walking through the mall holding hands with my good friend K, I was asked, (by someone I don't know might I add) "Is that a best friend thing, or...(insert sneer here)" K, of course said "Best friends" I stood there slightly disgusted over the whole situation, and then the asker of the question (damn their soul) said, "Good." Good, the bastard. So, excuse me if I'm not exactly ready for this lil' secret of mine to come out. I'd rather do cartwheels out of the closet than be dragged out kicking and screaming.
Anyways, so I was in an anxious state afterwards as I didn't exactly know what to do, and I really did want to be a part of it. So I told myself, that next time I'd listen intently to the announcements to get the details needed to be apart of this. Sadly, that day would have been today, and I'm home sick, so I sent a little message to K asking her to be the ears I needed that morning, and the only information she was able to come back to me with was that the club didn't start until next week.
Luckily for me, I soon after found my friend B online, who (bless her soul) not only told me the name of the teacher in charge of the GSA, but she also understood my anxiety over the whole situation, and agreed to come with me for support. I'm not exactly sure how I got lucky with such a great friend, or I guess great friends, but no matter the "who, or the what, or the why" I thank God every single day that I was blessed with these wonderful accepting people, because if I'm being 100% with myself, high school would be hell without them, and I would never have been able to accept myself for who I am without them. So although you guys aren't reading this right now, and probably never will, thank you so much for being the support that I need. Not just B, and K, but also J and even my newest friend S, and maybe even her. Thanks guys, this one is for you as much as it was for me!
-Peace out girl scouts!
End of blog song: Steal Your Heart Away- Seneca Hawk
Friday, 12 October 2012
Tuesday, 9 October 2012
09/10/12
Begin of blog song: Not an Angel- City Sleeps
Today, we got our Tcard photos taken, and a tour of the campus. My photo didn't turn out too shabby if I do say so myself, also the campus is beautiful! Today, some pretty embarrassing things happened.
For one, I think I mentioned my social anxiety, well, the whole day I was bumping into other people and making weird faces, or walking into things and making weird sounds and faces because, I'm awkward.
Secondly, I was explaining to my friends what would happen to a person if they yelled out "I'M A LESBIAN!" in the middle of the school cafeteria (as my school isn't exactly an accepting one...) which was when my teacher decided to get our attention, hearing my very loud outburst. He laughed, (not in a mean way, but you know, had to be there to understand...) I couldn't look him the eyes for the rest of the trip.
Besides that, the trip was so amazing! I had so much fun, and maybe even made another friend! This trip was a success, now all I have to deal with is a chem and math test tomorrow. I think I can do it? No, I know I can!
-Peace out girl scouts!
End of blog song: That's Not My Name- The Ting Tings
Today, we got our Tcard photos taken, and a tour of the campus. My photo didn't turn out too shabby if I do say so myself, also the campus is beautiful! Today, some pretty embarrassing things happened.
For one, I think I mentioned my social anxiety, well, the whole day I was bumping into other people and making weird faces, or walking into things and making weird sounds and faces because, I'm awkward.
Secondly, I was explaining to my friends what would happen to a person if they yelled out "I'M A LESBIAN!" in the middle of the school cafeteria (as my school isn't exactly an accepting one...) which was when my teacher decided to get our attention, hearing my very loud outburst. He laughed, (not in a mean way, but you know, had to be there to understand...) I couldn't look him the eyes for the rest of the trip.
Besides that, the trip was so amazing! I had so much fun, and maybe even made another friend! This trip was a success, now all I have to deal with is a chem and math test tomorrow. I think I can do it? No, I know I can!
-Peace out girl scouts!
End of blog song: That's Not My Name- The Ting Tings
Monday, 8 October 2012
08.10.12
Begin of blog show: Tom & Jerry
Hello world, I'm back. A three-day break may not have seemed like long to you, but it was almost an entire lifetime to me. I missed not having somewhere to post my thoughts every day, I missed not feeling like maybe, just maybe somewhere out there someone's reading this and is thinking to themselves "You know what, I can relate to this weird little internet girl, and I want to be her friend..." or you know, something along those lines...
Happy Thanksgiving to those of us in Canada who celebrated, I hope you all have much to give thanks for and have a wonderful day! I'm going to go now, I'm not 100% sure if this is a "back for good", or a "back for now" I guess we'll find out tomorrow, though.
- Peace out girl scouts.
End of blog show: Looney Toones.
Hello world, I'm back. A three-day break may not have seemed like long to you, but it was almost an entire lifetime to me. I missed not having somewhere to post my thoughts every day, I missed not feeling like maybe, just maybe somewhere out there someone's reading this and is thinking to themselves "You know what, I can relate to this weird little internet girl, and I want to be her friend..." or you know, something along those lines...
Happy Thanksgiving to those of us in Canada who celebrated, I hope you all have much to give thanks for and have a wonderful day! I'm going to go now, I'm not 100% sure if this is a "back for good", or a "back for now" I guess we'll find out tomorrow, though.
- Peace out girl scouts.
End of blog show: Looney Toones.
Friday, 5 October 2012
05.10.12
Begin of blog song: Sticks & Bricks- A Day To Remember
I've come to a terrible realization. I cannot simply speak to someone, or interact with a person without somehow making myself feel like utter crap, and this isn't healthy. So, from now until further notice, I'm taking a break, from everything. This break of mine can last from four days to four months. I'd try to not make it such a big gap, as I do need this blog, I feel as if it helps me stay sane. However, I need some time for myself, catch up on my reading, relax, watch a few kick ass movies.
Don't feel too sad, though, you're not the only one I'm going to be staying away from. I've also turned off my phone. I've logged off of Facebook. I've decided to take a break from everything. I might even visit the city just to get a change of scenery.
I'll be back when I get my head cleared and thoughts figured out. I'll be back when I've built up my strength to like myself a little bit more, and hate myself a little bit less. Until then well...
- Peace out girl scouts.
End of blog song: Have Faith In Me- A Day To Remember.
I've come to a terrible realization. I cannot simply speak to someone, or interact with a person without somehow making myself feel like utter crap, and this isn't healthy. So, from now until further notice, I'm taking a break, from everything. This break of mine can last from four days to four months. I'd try to not make it such a big gap, as I do need this blog, I feel as if it helps me stay sane. However, I need some time for myself, catch up on my reading, relax, watch a few kick ass movies.
Don't feel too sad, though, you're not the only one I'm going to be staying away from. I've also turned off my phone. I've logged off of Facebook. I've decided to take a break from everything. I might even visit the city just to get a change of scenery.
I'll be back when I get my head cleared and thoughts figured out. I'll be back when I've built up my strength to like myself a little bit more, and hate myself a little bit less. Until then well...
- Peace out girl scouts.
End of blog song: Have Faith In Me- A Day To Remember.
Thursday, 4 October 2012
04/10/12
Begin of blog song: Candle- Daughter
Today, was just as tiresome as any other. Woke up at 2:43AM. Bad dream; couldn't sleep. Been up since then. Went to school, took notes, took more notes. Had lunch, ate with friends. Saw her. Walked her to class. Took more notes, did a math quiz. Came home, rocked out to a secret crowd. Took a shower, ate, went on the computer.
Tomorrow is Friday, and then I get three days to detox and get all thoughts of her out of my head. Until Thursday that is, when I have a lunch date planned with her. It's not an actual date, of course, that'll never happen.
I'm looking forward to the long break, aren't we all? I'm supposed to be going shopping with mum, that probably won't happen, though. Things solemnly happen the way they were planned out. Here's hoping that for once, everything plays out smoothly.
I'll tell you all a secret, life isn't hard. Not even close to complicated. Life is the easiest thing to deal with. You know what fucks all of that up? We do, we complicate things, we make things harder on ourselves and on others. We are afraid to live, and we are afraid to love, so we screw ourselves over and do whatever we can to keep ourselves "safe" all while blaming someone else.
End of blog song: I Don't Wanna Be In Love (Dance Floor Anthem)- Good Charlotte
-Peace out girl scouts.
Today, was just as tiresome as any other. Woke up at 2:43AM. Bad dream; couldn't sleep. Been up since then. Went to school, took notes, took more notes. Had lunch, ate with friends. Saw her. Walked her to class. Took more notes, did a math quiz. Came home, rocked out to a secret crowd. Took a shower, ate, went on the computer.
Tomorrow is Friday, and then I get three days to detox and get all thoughts of her out of my head. Until Thursday that is, when I have a lunch date planned with her. It's not an actual date, of course, that'll never happen.
I'm looking forward to the long break, aren't we all? I'm supposed to be going shopping with mum, that probably won't happen, though. Things solemnly happen the way they were planned out. Here's hoping that for once, everything plays out smoothly.
I'll tell you all a secret, life isn't hard. Not even close to complicated. Life is the easiest thing to deal with. You know what fucks all of that up? We do, we complicate things, we make things harder on ourselves and on others. We are afraid to live, and we are afraid to love, so we screw ourselves over and do whatever we can to keep ourselves "safe" all while blaming someone else.
End of blog song: I Don't Wanna Be In Love (Dance Floor Anthem)- Good Charlotte
-Peace out girl scouts.
Wednesday, 3 October 2012
03/10/12
Begin of blog song: I'll Be- Edwin McCain
I think I might like someone, but it won't happen. I'm kinda bummed but, I've got to move on, cowgirl up and stay strong. I can do it, even if reading her flirtatious text messages keeps me smiling all day. :) I can do it! It's the Canadian way to stay positive!
End of blog song: Life Slash Dreams- Dan Black
I think I might like someone, but it won't happen. I'm kinda bummed but, I've got to move on, cowgirl up and stay strong. I can do it, even if reading her flirtatious text messages keeps me smiling all day. :) I can do it! It's the Canadian way to stay positive!
End of blog song: Life Slash Dreams- Dan Black
Monday, 1 October 2012
01/10/2012
Begin of blog song: Weightless- City and Colour
Alright people, I'll have you know, my worries about school are now NO MAS! :) All I have to do is study the courses that I like the most, and everything is A-OK! On the not so bright side, I am stuck with biology, and drama... woohoo.
Ah! I don't have anything to say, not really, I guess that was it. I do have a question though, creation or evolution? Why?
- Peace out girl scouts!
End of blog song- It Don't Mean A Thing- Ella Fitzgeraled
Alright people, I'll have you know, my worries about school are now NO MAS! :) All I have to do is study the courses that I like the most, and everything is A-OK! On the not so bright side, I am stuck with biology, and drama... woohoo.
Ah! I don't have anything to say, not really, I guess that was it. I do have a question though, creation or evolution? Why?
- Peace out girl scouts!
End of blog song- It Don't Mean A Thing- Ella Fitzgeraled
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