I've Missed You Dearly.

Begin of blog song: Walking Blind- Aidan Hawken. 

     Hello, old friend, I hope you're doing well. How have you been since my leave, are you taking care of yourself, *keeping your hopes up high and your head down low? I know that I haven't been as present as I should have and I do hope you can forgive me for that. You can, can't you? Good, I'm glad to hear it. It's been awhile since I've heard the voice of such a good friend, I am so pleased to find that you haven't grown to resent me after all this time. I'm sorry if you feel as if I've abandoned you, please note that that is and was something I have never intended to do. I simply needed time to sort things through and think on my own. Yes, I'm fine now. Thank you for caring, it's so hard to find people who genuinely do.
     It's so nice to know that even after all this time I've spent... wasted, on hating you, you can still find it in your heart to smile back at me and accept all I have to offer- though it isn't much- with open and welcoming arms. How many times have I neglected you? Shut you away in a box at the back of my psych and then thrown you out to sea? How many times have I ignored you, hurt you, damaged you? How many times have I yelled and spit insults, after insults in your direction? Oh gosh, too many to count indeed and yet here we are. Better and stronger than ever. The only one who I can thank is you because you never gave up on me.
     This is a letter to myself, from myself, written and edited by myself. I hope to find pride in myself, instead of trying to hide myself, because I know now that joy can only be created by the willingness of myself. So I'd like to thank that part of me that shines brightest even in the dark, and fights even when we've gotten the shit kicked out of us. I'd like to thank the version of me that smiles even when I'm about to break down and cry because even though I can't see it at the moment, I know that it can only ever get better. I apologize deeply that it has taken me so long to accept and acknowledge you, I promise that now that I finally have I will try my best to hold on to this feeling of elation and try my best to no longer drown in my inadequacies. This is a vow made by myself,  for me.

End of blog song: Ungodly Hour- The Fray.

*This is a quote from a song called All I Want, by a band called A Day To Remember.