Do you want to know why I'm so passive aggressive? Alright let's have a go at it shall we? Let's properly look at this situation, okay?
I- don't speak up or properly express myself.
You- hate it when I do this.
However- when I do try to properly express my opinion on a certain subject I am either 1. ignored or 2. treated as if I am being "too sensitive" or "annoying".
The point- if you want me to start speaking up, start listening.
I have no problem what so ever that you express your opinion about me, what I do have a problem with is when your opinion about me completely degrades the type of person that I actually am. No, I'm not saying that I'm completely spotless in this food-fight, because I do realise that you do try to "pull me out of my shell" and that I don't let you, you make a lot of efforts to be "the best big sister that you can be" but the fact that you're even less consistent than I am, have no respect for authority, have no tangible future goals, and don't know how to deal with anyone in the history of ever. All of that, plus more makes it hard for me to actually think of you as my "big sister" because in my eyes babe, you're not.
You seriously want me to start respecting you and taking you seriously? Give me a reason to, because if you haven't noticed (which you don't because no one does), I try my best in school, I try my best to not be a sorry sap 100% of the time, I try my best not to lose my shit on everyone in this fucking house. I've lost where I'm going with this, but I think the point that I'm trying to make is that yeah we all have our set backs... I'm an emotionless academic idiot, and you got pregnant at 16... but that doesn't mean that we still can't try our best to see where the other is coming from. I'm sick and tired of asking you to speak nicer to me because you don't listen, it completely leaves me lost when you don't understand that the reason I don't know what to do around you is because you're my older sister and not my friend, it kind of leaves me with whiplash when you want to act like my friend but respected as someone who has authority over me and it completely fucking pisses me off that you don't have your life together at 25 but expect me to have all the answers figured out at 17.
Wow, I wish I could say that things have changed on this one, wish I would've made myself sound less like a bitch... (the babe comment made me laugh though).
End of blog song: Peter- Daughter.
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