Begin of blog song: Holland; Ghost Face
So, I move out in a week. That means I need to start making adult preparations. My mum doesn't want me working during school, but I'm not a fan of pinching pennies and I'm only going to be getting the bare minimum to pay rent and buy groceries and have a bit of spending money left over. I'm a homebody but that doesn't mean that I don't end up spending a fuck-load of money on useless shit by the end of the month. So, having a part-time job and a little extra money would stop me from going stir-crazy and leave me with a little more breathing room and a hell of a lot less anxiety at the end of the month. That being said, if nowhere hires me (which probably will be the result as being black in Canada is similar to being black in America and nobody wants you unless you're the whitest black possible) it won't be the end of the world and I'll still get by just fine.
I guess the thing is, I rather have a job that I can eventually quit if things get to be too much than not even be presented with the option. So, wish me luck on my job hunt, I figure that if I start applying now by the time I make it back to Sudbury I'd at least have some interviews lined up, or something. Worst case scenario I go to my university's employment centre and get a job in the great hall or some shit.
- Peace out Girl Scouts!
End of blog song: Cut the Rope; Charlotte OC.
Sunday, 23 August 2015
Saturday, 22 August 2015
What do I do?
Begin of blog song: Please don't go; Barcelona
What do you do when your ex is manipulative and emotionally abusive? What do you do when you know that you should go, but you feel like you can't? What do you do when you start making excuses for them and brushing off their behaviour? What do yu do when every time that you try to leave they find ways to pull you back in. What do you do, when someone comes to you asking for advice on an identical situation to your own, but you're too proud to admit that you won't be any help because you're in the exact same sinking ship that they are?
End of blog song: You; Keaton Henson.
What do you do when your ex is manipulative and emotionally abusive? What do you do when you know that you should go, but you feel like you can't? What do you do when you start making excuses for them and brushing off their behaviour? What do yu do when every time that you try to leave they find ways to pull you back in. What do you do, when someone comes to you asking for advice on an identical situation to your own, but you're too proud to admit that you won't be any help because you're in the exact same sinking ship that they are?
End of blog song: You; Keaton Henson.
Wednesday, 19 August 2015
uhm uh... hmm
Begin of blog song: Wonderland; Taylor Swift
So, tomorrow I have a meeting with one of my friends to plan my going away/home away from home, house-warming party, and today I have to clean my room. Like, I don't have to clean my room, but I totally do, I keep using the move as an as excuse as to why I don't have to/can't (all of my packed stuff are just laying around with nowhere really to go). Honestly, though, I just want to sleep, the only motivation that I have to actually clean is that I hate leaving things for last minute. Hopefully, my random bout of nausea passes in time for me to actually do something with my day, though.
In other news, I've somehow managed to get one of my friends upset with me, I'm not too concerned though because I technically didn't do anything. Like I asked this friend to stop sending me pictures every time they get a cut/scrape because it's something that I'm just not good dealing with (that's not to say that they can't talk to me when they're feeling hurt or when they've gotten hurt, just don't send me photographic evidence). Anyways, she sent me a snapchat today, of her going bowling and then another of an injury that she's gotten that needed stitches so I sent her back a snap saying "congrats on the game", and a text saying (yet again,) "please stop sending me pictures of your cuts" and somehow that got under her skin but like whatever. I'm not her parent, I don't have to kiss her wounds better.
End of blog song: Bad (rendition); SoMo.
So, tomorrow I have a meeting with one of my friends to plan my going away/home away from home, house-warming party, and today I have to clean my room. Like, I don't have to clean my room, but I totally do, I keep using the move as an as excuse as to why I don't have to/can't (all of my packed stuff are just laying around with nowhere really to go). Honestly, though, I just want to sleep, the only motivation that I have to actually clean is that I hate leaving things for last minute. Hopefully, my random bout of nausea passes in time for me to actually do something with my day, though.
In other news, I've somehow managed to get one of my friends upset with me, I'm not too concerned though because I technically didn't do anything. Like I asked this friend to stop sending me pictures every time they get a cut/scrape because it's something that I'm just not good dealing with (that's not to say that they can't talk to me when they're feeling hurt or when they've gotten hurt, just don't send me photographic evidence). Anyways, she sent me a snapchat today, of her going bowling and then another of an injury that she's gotten that needed stitches so I sent her back a snap saying "congrats on the game", and a text saying (yet again,) "please stop sending me pictures of your cuts" and somehow that got under her skin but like whatever. I'm not her parent, I don't have to kiss her wounds better.
End of blog song: Bad (rendition); SoMo.
Tuesday, 18 August 2015
Moving
Begin of blog song: Happy With Me; HolyChild.
So, as you may or may not know, I will officially be moved out of my mum's house on the 31st. I'm excited, looking for furniture, thinking about how I'm going to decorate, once again being in charge of my own grocery shopping. I can't wait! I've been packed since like the beginning of August, I've been looking at beds since before then, but holy fuck, I have just found the world's best bed and I am in love. I'll be the first to admit that the place that I'm moving into is a closet, it's a two bedroom upstairs apartment with hardly enough room to turn around in (luckily for me, my roommate and I are fairly tiny). So, as you know, while dealing with limited space, storage is everything, and I have just found a bed to answer all of my prayers... one catch, it's two hundred dollars out of budget.
(This is seriously the holy grail of single beds) Here's the thing, I know that I can convince my mum to get it for me, all I have to do is save all of my other wants for another day from when I can afford them myself, in all practicality the bed is perfect, not to mention it's a bed that I will be sleeping in for the next three years, a sound investment, but just because it can be done, does it mean that it should be? In the end, I'm sure it'll be best to stick to the budget, but a girl can dream.
- peace out girl scouts (wish me luck on my move!).
End of blog song: Make a Shadow; Meg Myers
So, as you may or may not know, I will officially be moved out of my mum's house on the 31st. I'm excited, looking for furniture, thinking about how I'm going to decorate, once again being in charge of my own grocery shopping. I can't wait! I've been packed since like the beginning of August, I've been looking at beds since before then, but holy fuck, I have just found the world's best bed and I am in love. I'll be the first to admit that the place that I'm moving into is a closet, it's a two bedroom upstairs apartment with hardly enough room to turn around in (luckily for me, my roommate and I are fairly tiny). So, as you know, while dealing with limited space, storage is everything, and I have just found a bed to answer all of my prayers... one catch, it's two hundred dollars out of budget.
(This is seriously the holy grail of single beds) Here's the thing, I know that I can convince my mum to get it for me, all I have to do is save all of my other wants for another day from when I can afford them myself, in all practicality the bed is perfect, not to mention it's a bed that I will be sleeping in for the next three years, a sound investment, but just because it can be done, does it mean that it should be? In the end, I'm sure it'll be best to stick to the budget, but a girl can dream.
- peace out girl scouts (wish me luck on my move!).
End of blog song: Make a Shadow; Meg Myers
obsessions.
begin of blog song: My Own; Whitaker
it's so fucking easy for me to obsess about the small things like a tv show or a crack in the pavement because it hurts a hell of a lot less to have my mind filled with meaningless thoughts and to have all of my energy and emotions steady on one thing than to admit that I'm still hurting, that I'm still broken and I have no fucking clue what I'm doing. God, I haven't felt the need to cry for myself in a long ass time, and I just know that as soon as that first tear drops I won't be able to stop.
end of blog song: Coward; Hayden Calnin
it's so fucking easy for me to obsess about the small things like a tv show or a crack in the pavement because it hurts a hell of a lot less to have my mind filled with meaningless thoughts and to have all of my energy and emotions steady on one thing than to admit that I'm still hurting, that I'm still broken and I have no fucking clue what I'm doing. God, I haven't felt the need to cry for myself in a long ass time, and I just know that as soon as that first tear drops I won't be able to stop.
end of blog song: Coward; Hayden Calnin
Friday, 14 August 2015
The Story of Death and her Lover.
Begin of blog song: Renegades; X-Ambassadors
& I stood there, an offering to death. I stood there, naked & alone in the dead of night, more vulnerable than I've ever been before. I was calm, & I was ready. This was the end, this was what I've been waiting for. So, she unfurled her heavy midnight wings, wrapped them gently around my soon to be lifeless form. With ice cold hands, she grasped my shoulders firmly. Death leaned in inch by inch and I did not flinch, she pressed her lips against my own and I pulled her closely and let loose a sigh of relief. I was finally free. This is the end, and I am so grateful. I was so grateful that I left without a goodbye. I was so grateful, that I did not see that death began to cry.
End of blog song: Someone New; Banks.
& I stood there, an offering to death. I stood there, naked & alone in the dead of night, more vulnerable than I've ever been before. I was calm, & I was ready. This was the end, this was what I've been waiting for. So, she unfurled her heavy midnight wings, wrapped them gently around my soon to be lifeless form. With ice cold hands, she grasped my shoulders firmly. Death leaned in inch by inch and I did not flinch, she pressed her lips against my own and I pulled her closely and let loose a sigh of relief. I was finally free. This is the end, and I am so grateful. I was so grateful that I left without a goodbye. I was so grateful, that I did not see that death began to cry.
End of blog song: Someone New; Banks.
Thursday, 13 August 2015
5 and Counting.
Begin fo blog song: Heartbeat x Car Radio; Childish Gambino / Twenty One Pilots
"I don't know. I don't know anything. All I know is that I want my body to be covered in ink. I want to drown in it. I want them to be able to read the story on my skin. The story of a that I tried to live."
"I don't know. I don't know anything. All I know is that I want my body to be covered in ink. I want to drown in it. I want them to be able to read the story on my skin. The story of a that I tried to live."
Wednesday, 12 August 2015
One Day.
Begin of blog song: Every Other Freckle; Alt-J
I want to die, but that's not right either. If I really wanted to die, I would. I want to cause enough pain and damage to my body that it's irreversible, until what I'm feeling is finally justifiable. I want to tear away at my chest with my nails, claw away at my ribs and rip out my heart until all that is left for me to do is to sink my decaying fingers into its beating pulses. I want to locate the hurt and make a physical manifestation of it. I want everyone to have a visual representation of what it's like living in my skin. I want to write, "fragile, handle with care" on my being and then fling myself down a winding set of stairs. I want my bones to break and shatter, I want to make sense of my pain in a way that I can comfortably justify and everyone else can readily identify. I want to love myself one day.
End of blog song: Good For You; Selena Gomes ft. A$AP Rocky.
I want to die, but that's not right either. If I really wanted to die, I would. I want to cause enough pain and damage to my body that it's irreversible, until what I'm feeling is finally justifiable. I want to tear away at my chest with my nails, claw away at my ribs and rip out my heart until all that is left for me to do is to sink my decaying fingers into its beating pulses. I want to locate the hurt and make a physical manifestation of it. I want everyone to have a visual representation of what it's like living in my skin. I want to write, "fragile, handle with care" on my being and then fling myself down a winding set of stairs. I want my bones to break and shatter, I want to make sense of my pain in a way that I can comfortably justify and everyone else can readily identify. I want to love myself one day.
End of blog song: Good For You; Selena Gomes ft. A$AP Rocky.
Tuesday, 11 August 2015
Dreaming.
Begin of blog song: Terms and Conditions; Chet Faker.
I dreamt about you for the first time in forever. I don't want to go into detail about it, but I wasn't prepared. Crazy how someone can completely shatter your heart and you can still see the good in them, still see recognize the parts of them that you fell in love with even when they refuse to show it to you as willingly or as often as they once have. Even if they still manage to do things every day to further break your heart, but you refuse to leave because once in a blue moon they show you the person they use to be. They show you the person that use to be in love with you too.
End of blog song: 90210; Blackbear ft. G-Eazy.
I dreamt about you for the first time in forever. I don't want to go into detail about it, but I wasn't prepared. Crazy how someone can completely shatter your heart and you can still see the good in them, still see recognize the parts of them that you fell in love with even when they refuse to show it to you as willingly or as often as they once have. Even if they still manage to do things every day to further break your heart, but you refuse to leave because once in a blue moon they show you the person they use to be. They show you the person that use to be in love with you too.
End of blog song: 90210; Blackbear ft. G-Eazy.
Monday, 10 August 2015
Pub Night.
Begin of blog song: Jim Morrison; Jon Bellion
So, as you know, I'm back in action. As you also know, I didn't post anything yesterday, and for once, I actually have a pretty good reason as to why that is. Yesterday, I decided that I wouldn't post anything until the evening, that way I'd actually have something to post, but instead of staying in all night like I planned, my friend, M, talked me into going out with her to a pub. We drank, a lot, I drank slightly more than a lot if I'm being completely honest. Now, usually I can hold my liquor like a champ, but I also usually don't drink on a completely empty stomach, mix my drinks, or drink things that taste like they've been made in a sugar factory. As a result of breaking all of my usual rules, I ended up being "white girl wasted". There was a lot of vomit (sorry TTC), a lot of pouting and nearly crying, and even more laughing at stupid shit and having to pee what felt like every five seconds. To make things worse, I also drunkenly texted my ex (my ex and I are actually on pretty good terms, so my texting her at all isn't really a weird thing.., me texting her that I love her? Yeah, that was weird as shit). By the time I got home, I was hardly able to pull myself together enough to brush my teeth, take off my vomit covered jeans (ew), throw my bra somewhere and collapse into bed. Thank god M was nice enough to actually make sure that I made it into bed and completed all of those tasks.
Today, was a lot more mild thank goodness, I woke up at around seven (not hungover thank god), cleaned my room, watched Teen Wolf, and now I'm making myself dinner (pasta!). Even though I had a lot of fun last night, I don't think I'll be doing that again, or at the very least if I do I'll make sure that I do it a lot wiser.
Remember kids, learn from my mistakes, "beer before liquor never sicker, liquor before beer you're in the clear"!
-Peace out girl scouts.
End of blog song: Someday; The Strokes.
So, as you know, I'm back in action. As you also know, I didn't post anything yesterday, and for once, I actually have a pretty good reason as to why that is. Yesterday, I decided that I wouldn't post anything until the evening, that way I'd actually have something to post, but instead of staying in all night like I planned, my friend, M, talked me into going out with her to a pub. We drank, a lot, I drank slightly more than a lot if I'm being completely honest. Now, usually I can hold my liquor like a champ, but I also usually don't drink on a completely empty stomach, mix my drinks, or drink things that taste like they've been made in a sugar factory. As a result of breaking all of my usual rules, I ended up being "white girl wasted". There was a lot of vomit (sorry TTC), a lot of pouting and nearly crying, and even more laughing at stupid shit and having to pee what felt like every five seconds. To make things worse, I also drunkenly texted my ex (my ex and I are actually on pretty good terms, so my texting her at all isn't really a weird thing.., me texting her that I love her? Yeah, that was weird as shit). By the time I got home, I was hardly able to pull myself together enough to brush my teeth, take off my vomit covered jeans (ew), throw my bra somewhere and collapse into bed. Thank god M was nice enough to actually make sure that I made it into bed and completed all of those tasks.
Today, was a lot more mild thank goodness, I woke up at around seven (not hungover thank god), cleaned my room, watched Teen Wolf, and now I'm making myself dinner (pasta!). Even though I had a lot of fun last night, I don't think I'll be doing that again, or at the very least if I do I'll make sure that I do it a lot wiser.
Remember kids, learn from my mistakes, "beer before liquor never sicker, liquor before beer you're in the clear"!
-Peace out girl scouts.
End of blog song: Someday; The Strokes.
Saturday, 8 August 2015
Update.
Begin of blog song: Ship To Wreck; Florence + The Machine.
Hey, there. So, it's definitely been awhile, hasn't it? In my previous post I mentioned that there would be pictures along with this update, however, I'm currently on my period and so pictures are sure as fuck not going to happen. Let's begin.
Name: Drew
Age: 19
Date: 08.08.15
University update:
1. dyed the back of my hair bright pink and the front bright blue.
2. moved into dorms.
3. met my roommates (there were five of us in an apartment like setting, I shared my room with one other girl, let's call her O).
4. came out to my roommates (I'm out to just about everyone at this point, my room in my mum's house has like two pride flags in it. If someone doesn't know that I'm gay it's because they're not paying attention, not because I'm still in the closet. It always gets better).
5. had a major freak out over having to go through the anniversary of my brother's death without my family's support (that never really gets easier, sorry).
6. met E and the rest of the gang.
6.5 developed a major crush on E.
7. dyed my hair dark purple.
8. Halloween; got drunk off my ass and danced all night with E.
9. permed my hair for the last time.
10. got into an argument with O (realized just how much I hated having to share intimate space with another person... there were a lot of arguments).
11. bleached my hair and dyed it lilac, decided that I am not going to perm my hair anymore.
12. got tattoo number three with E for my birthday (we did not get anything matching, I only have a matching tattoo with one person, and that's my sister... yes, that sister.)
13. got over my infatuation with E when I realized that although there was something between us, neither of us were willing to make the first move
14. my sister gave birth for the second time.
15. decided to live off of campus for my second year with E (dorms are, a fun experience but you have to keep in mind that a lot of people are living away from home and experiencing their freedom for the first time ever)
16. survived my first set of exams, found a place to live for my second year throughout, moved back to my mum's house for the time being.
Summer update:
1. got two new tattoos (making a grand total of five).
2. actually got a summer job.
3. lost my summer job (not my fault, it was babysitting, the mother had quit her job.) and was unable to find a replacement job.
4. shaved half of my head (the sides and the back).
5. took a pole dancing class. (I'm not even close to being sort of sexy).
6. decided that I am not longer going to colour or flat iron my hair (finally going to have a healthy hair journey)
7. went to my third ever annual pride event with K that just so happened to be a pool party (there was lots of alcohol, and lots of dancing, I even took a dip in the pool).
8. E came to visit (then I went to visit her).
9. had my first club experience with K (the worst parts were the sober parts).
10. played a drinking game on the beach.
11. looked for jobs, turned down jobs.
12. hung out with O (on more than one occasion, it was fun).
13. spent more money than I own (learned about the downside to owning a credit card... it's okay, I'm in the green now).
14. obsessed over the fact that I'm moving out at the end of the month. (I'm still obsessing over this, let's be honest.)
15. my ex-girlfriend (yeah, the one from high school, it's complicated... not really, I'm still in love with her, she's not in love with me, she's my kryptonite) decided to leave and then re-enter my life again on multiple occasions. (On this particular occasion she told me I'm beautiful and that she misses me... yes, I'm perfectly aware how unhealthy and emotionally manipulative this all is, I'm trying my best to deal with it.)
16. found a temporary job that won't make me want to kill myself. (hopefully).
17. my mother left to go to Jamaica to attend a funeral.
I'm sure that I did a lot more than that, especially since this was/is my first legal summer in Toronto, but it's 1 in the afternoon and my cramps are kicking my ass, (the KC's have never left), forgive me for not being thorough enough. I'm not perfect, my life is always going to come with a slew of ups and downs, but I am trying to become someone who I won't always hate. I still live with my mental illnesses, I still keep things from the people that I love/care about, I'm still mean and cruel and broken, I still feel like I'm drowning sometimes, but I try not to let that get to me as much these days.
-Peace out girl scouts.
End of blog song: Eyes to the Sky; Jon Bellion
Hey, there. So, it's definitely been awhile, hasn't it? In my previous post I mentioned that there would be pictures along with this update, however, I'm currently on my period and so pictures are sure as fuck not going to happen. Let's begin.
Name: Drew
Age: 19
Date: 08.08.15
University update:
1. dyed the back of my hair bright pink and the front bright blue.
2. moved into dorms.
3. met my roommates (there were five of us in an apartment like setting, I shared my room with one other girl, let's call her O).
4. came out to my roommates (I'm out to just about everyone at this point, my room in my mum's house has like two pride flags in it. If someone doesn't know that I'm gay it's because they're not paying attention, not because I'm still in the closet. It always gets better).
5. had a major freak out over having to go through the anniversary of my brother's death without my family's support (that never really gets easier, sorry).
6. met E and the rest of the gang.
6.5 developed a major crush on E.
7. dyed my hair dark purple.
8. Halloween; got drunk off my ass and danced all night with E.
9. permed my hair for the last time.
10. got into an argument with O (realized just how much I hated having to share intimate space with another person... there were a lot of arguments).
11. bleached my hair and dyed it lilac, decided that I am not going to perm my hair anymore.
12. got tattoo number three with E for my birthday (we did not get anything matching, I only have a matching tattoo with one person, and that's my sister... yes, that sister.)
13. got over my infatuation with E when I realized that although there was something between us, neither of us were willing to make the first move
14. my sister gave birth for the second time.
15. decided to live off of campus for my second year with E (dorms are, a fun experience but you have to keep in mind that a lot of people are living away from home and experiencing their freedom for the first time ever)
16. survived my first set of exams, found a place to live for my second year throughout, moved back to my mum's house for the time being.
Summer update:
1. got two new tattoos (making a grand total of five).
2. actually got a summer job.
3. lost my summer job (not my fault, it was babysitting, the mother had quit her job.) and was unable to find a replacement job.
4. shaved half of my head (the sides and the back).
5. took a pole dancing class. (I'm not even close to being sort of sexy).
6. decided that I am not longer going to colour or flat iron my hair (finally going to have a healthy hair journey)
7. went to my third ever annual pride event with K that just so happened to be a pool party (there was lots of alcohol, and lots of dancing, I even took a dip in the pool).
8. E came to visit (then I went to visit her).
9. had my first club experience with K (the worst parts were the sober parts).
10. played a drinking game on the beach.
11. looked for jobs, turned down jobs.
12. hung out with O (on more than one occasion, it was fun).
13. spent more money than I own (learned about the downside to owning a credit card... it's okay, I'm in the green now).
14. obsessed over the fact that I'm moving out at the end of the month. (I'm still obsessing over this, let's be honest.)
15. my ex-girlfriend (yeah, the one from high school, it's complicated... not really, I'm still in love with her, she's not in love with me, she's my kryptonite) decided to leave and then re-enter my life again on multiple occasions. (On this particular occasion she told me I'm beautiful and that she misses me... yes, I'm perfectly aware how unhealthy and emotionally manipulative this all is, I'm trying my best to deal with it.)
16. found a temporary job that won't make me want to kill myself. (hopefully).
17. my mother left to go to Jamaica to attend a funeral.
I'm sure that I did a lot more than that, especially since this was/is my first legal summer in Toronto, but it's 1 in the afternoon and my cramps are kicking my ass, (the KC's have never left), forgive me for not being thorough enough. I'm not perfect, my life is always going to come with a slew of ups and downs, but I am trying to become someone who I won't always hate. I still live with my mental illnesses, I still keep things from the people that I love/care about, I'm still mean and cruel and broken, I still feel like I'm drowning sometimes, but I try not to let that get to me as much these days.
-Peace out girl scouts.
End of blog song: Eyes to the Sky; Jon Bellion
Friday, 7 August 2015
Who knew? Not me, that's who!
Begin of blog song: House of Gold- Twenty One Pilots
I actually thought that I deleted this thing. I can't believe it's still here.
So, I'm back... sort of, I don't know, that's sort of the theme of my life these days; "I don't know". It's fitting, I guess. My first action of being back involved me going through every post ever made on this blog, editing it, and then commenting where I saw fit. One thing is for sure, I am equal parts funny, annoying, angsty, and embarrassing.
I reckon I'm going to get back into the swing of things, see how long I can stay consistent with it all. Tomorrow I'll be posting a life update (pictures and all), a lot has changed.
I want to put it out there that I'm not continuing this blog for the views, I'm doing it because although some parts were painful to look back on, I'm glad that I had something to look at. I live on through my words, it's going to be one hell of a trip when I look back on this site in another three to four years and see how much I've grown and changed.
I've come a long way, and although a lot of things have stayed the same, a lot of things have changed as well, and mostly for the better.
So, I'll see y'all tomorrow. To those of you who have stuck with me, or those of you who will eventually find me in the future, or heck even to future me, thank you. Thanks for carrying on with me.
End of blog song: Not Today- Twenty One Pilots
I actually thought that I deleted this thing. I can't believe it's still here.
So, I'm back... sort of, I don't know, that's sort of the theme of my life these days; "I don't know". It's fitting, I guess. My first action of being back involved me going through every post ever made on this blog, editing it, and then commenting where I saw fit. One thing is for sure, I am equal parts funny, annoying, angsty, and embarrassing.
I reckon I'm going to get back into the swing of things, see how long I can stay consistent with it all. Tomorrow I'll be posting a life update (pictures and all), a lot has changed.
I want to put it out there that I'm not continuing this blog for the views, I'm doing it because although some parts were painful to look back on, I'm glad that I had something to look at. I live on through my words, it's going to be one hell of a trip when I look back on this site in another three to four years and see how much I've grown and changed.
I've come a long way, and although a lot of things have stayed the same, a lot of things have changed as well, and mostly for the better.
So, I'll see y'all tomorrow. To those of you who have stuck with me, or those of you who will eventually find me in the future, or heck even to future me, thank you. Thanks for carrying on with me.
End of blog song: Not Today- Twenty One Pilots
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