Update.

Begin of blog song: Ship To Wreck; Florence + The Machine.

Hey, there. So, it's definitely been awhile, hasn't it? In my previous post I mentioned that there would be pictures along with this update, however, I'm currently on my period and so pictures are sure as fuck not going to happen. Let's begin.

Name: Drew
Age: 19
Date: 08.08.15

University update:
1. dyed the back of my hair bright pink and the front bright blue.
2. moved into dorms.
3. met my roommates (there were five of us in an apartment like setting, I shared my room with one other girl, let's call her O).
4. came out to my roommates (I'm out to just about everyone at this point, my room in my mum's house has like two pride flags in it. If someone doesn't know that I'm gay it's because they're not paying attention, not because I'm still in the closet. It always gets better).
5. had a major freak out over having to go through the anniversary of my brother's death without my family's support (that never really gets easier, sorry).
6. met E and the rest of the gang.
6.5 developed a major crush on E.
7. dyed my hair dark purple.
8. Halloween; got drunk off my ass and danced all night with E.
9. permed my hair for the last time.
10. got into an argument with O (realized just how much I hated having to share intimate space with another person... there were a lot of arguments).
11. bleached my hair and dyed it lilac, decided that I am not going to perm my hair anymore.
12. got tattoo number three with E for my birthday (we did not get anything matching, I only have a matching tattoo with one person, and that's my sister... yes, that sister.)
13. got over my infatuation with E when I realized that although there was something between us, neither of us were willing to make the first move
14. my sister gave birth for the second time.
15. decided to live off of campus for my second year with E (dorms are, a fun experience but you have to keep in mind that a lot of people are living away from home and experiencing their freedom for the first time ever)
16. survived my first set of exams, found a place to live for my second year throughout, moved back to my mum's house for the time being.

Summer update:
1. got two new tattoos (making a grand total of five).
2. actually got a summer job.
3. lost my summer job (not my fault, it was babysitting, the mother had quit her job.) and was unable to find a replacement job.
4. shaved half of my head (the sides and the back).
5. took a pole dancing class. (I'm not even close to being sort of sexy).
6. decided that I am not longer going to colour or flat iron my hair (finally going to have a healthy hair journey)
7. went to my third ever annual pride event with K that just so happened to be a pool party (there was lots of alcohol, and lots of dancing, I even took a dip in the pool).
8. E came to visit (then I went to visit her).
9. had my first club experience with K (the worst parts were the sober parts).
10. played a drinking game on the beach.
11. looked for jobs, turned down jobs.
12. hung out with O (on more than one occasion, it was fun).
13. spent more money than I own (learned about the downside to owning a credit card... it's okay, I'm in the green now).
14. obsessed over the fact that I'm moving out at the end of the month. (I'm still obsessing over this, let's be honest.)
15. my ex-girlfriend (yeah, the one from high school, it's complicated... not really, I'm still in love with her, she's not in love with me, she's my kryptonite) decided to leave and then re-enter my life again on multiple occasions. (On this particular occasion she told me I'm beautiful and that she misses me... yes, I'm perfectly aware how unhealthy and emotionally manipulative this all is, I'm trying my best to deal with it.)
16. found a temporary job that won't make me want to kill myself. (hopefully).
17. my mother left to go to Jamaica to attend a funeral.

I'm sure that I did a lot more than that, especially since this was/is my first legal summer in Toronto, but it's 1 in the afternoon and my cramps are kicking my ass, (the KC's have never left), forgive me for not being thorough enough. I'm not perfect, my life is always going to come with a slew of ups and downs, but I am trying to become someone who I won't always hate. I still live with my mental illnesses, I still keep things from the people that I love/care about, I'm still mean and cruel and broken, I still feel like I'm drowning sometimes, but I try not to let that get to me as much these days.

-Peace out girl scouts.

End of blog song: Eyes to the Sky; Jon Bellion